Funny thing, but today, was the first time that it really sank in for me. What you ask? I finally realized that Disney recently has obtained the rights to BOTH Marvel AND Star Wars 'shudder'.
See, I knew both of those facts individually, but my mind must have kept the information compartmentalized as a way of protecting my already fragile sanity. The fact is that Disney is probably going to make those franchises more “family-friendly”.
If you read that phrase in the quotes, and your mind translated it to “boring”, you know where I'm going with that. Imagine all of the Star Wars movies having plots like “Jar Jar Binks meets the Ewoks, and they have a two hour long cuddle-fest”. This could be the start of the next major horror movie franchise- I know it scares me...
But then I got to thinking maybe it isn't so bad. A funny plot-lines came to mind, and any of these would be interesting to me. There are only a couple of conditions. First, Disney has to pay. God knows that isn't an issue though. They are running around paying for other people's ideas like they are doing an impression of Thomas Edison (Don't get that reference? Google “Edison”, “Tesla”, and “asshole”. You'll get plenty).
Secondly, I don't wanna hear Micky Mouse running around yelling “I own it all now, bitches!” in that annoying high pitched voice of his. So they're going to have to muzzle him. Or shoot him, but I don't insist on that.
I wouldn't stop it from happening though. And I can't guarantee a complete lack of laughter if they did. I never liked that mouse. But I don't see any other potential deal-breakers here. So consider this list of potential plot-lines for sale...
Jar-Jar meets either; the Hulk, the Punisher, or Dr. Doom, or all three. They don't get along.
Samuel Jackson meets himself, and since Nick Fury has no use for the quiet contemplation crap the Jedi pull, he eventually annoys himself into a Pulp Fiction-style fit of rage.
Speaking of fits of rage, Donald with a light-saber. As a Sith. Darth Donald. If you threw up a little when you read that, don't worry. It gets better...
Deadpool kills the Disney Universe.
See? Funny again.
Goofy meets Venom. They get along fine, until Goofy decides he needs to try out his look as “Dark Goofy”.
Jack Sparrow vs. Anakin Skywalker. Yeah, he's got the Force, but the whiny bitch won't know what hit him.
Capcom shows up, drunk, and declares that it wants Marvel back. After the inevitable 3 way fight is over, they all get together and decide to take a crap on Superman's porch
There are many more, but I try not to think about this subject too hard- my head may explode from a combination of laughter and rage. One more thing. A Marvel vs Star Wars video game would either be the best or the worst thing to ever happen to gaming. There's a 90% chance of it being the worst...