If your wife tells you that you don't take her to expensive places any more, take her to the gas station.
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, but the third one was found while leading a Senate committee hearing about escaped monkeys. We left him there, they needed the help more than we needed a monkey.
Hilarious quotes- I wanted to share. No idea who came up with them, but these are really funny sayings
When flying a plane, you don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
Technological progress is like putting an ax in the hands of a pathological criminal.
If silence is golden, there must be a run on gold- because nobody's buying.
Whenever I do something stupid, I take a good long look at the people around me. That usually makes me feel much better.
With some people missing persons doesn't need 72 hours, a day without logons to Facebook is enough of a reason to start searching.
If you stand at the North pole, you can choose what time it is, just by taking a step.
When a couple argues over who loves who more, the real winner is the one that gives up first.
It's BLOG, BLOG, BLOG
Well, more of it