No more visits from the IT guy

My brilliant idea will change the world. Or make you laugh

 
I'm going to change the world with my revolutionary new idea. It's groundbreaking, so have a seat. In fact, take a whole paragraph.



I want to teach computers how to feel pain. Now, I would like to stress that this will be EXCRUCIATING pain. I'm not gonna waste time doing this for a toothache. 



So. the next time any computer won't do what you want, or when you're asked for the 10000000th time to look online for drivers/troubleshooting, (when you know damn well that your computer won't FIND anything), you can show it who's boss. It'll straighten up. Or go insane with rage. Both options seem entertaining to me.

This will become the hot new desktop background, copyright it now, while you can!

  Second of all, with the way copyright law is in this country, if I patent this, I'll probably be able to sue anyone who hits their computer out of frustration for copyright infringement. I could probably get just about EVERY computer user (including the nice folks at the RIAA) in a giant class action lawsuit and allege they stole my idea. 



when someone points out that they were hitting their computers BEFORE  my patent, I'll ask if they got a patent for it. Then I'll ask them how long they've been beating their computers. Maybe I'll demand back royalties  of, say, $10,000 for every incident. Considering our legal system, I may be able to swing this, too.  



     All of this will lead to my FINAL goal. A button on my computer, preferably with the windows logo on it (I KNOW there already is one- it's useless), that sends electrical shocks to Bill Gates's head when I push it. Then all I'll need is one of those bird things that goes up and down by itself...