Ranting Randomly
  • Ranting Randomly Blog
  • Politics
  • Comedy
  • Deadpool Memes
  • Adult Swim
  • Sitemap

Fun with my sent emailsĀ 

6/12/2013

Comments

 

I was going through my email account today when I found a something interesting in my outbox.  I must have sent it to Best Buy customer service department, possibly while I was bored, or annoyed with something I bought from them. This was from a long ways back, but I think the message remains relevant to this day. 



So I thought I'd post it, to get an idea as to why they never responded...


Dear 'Best' Buy.


I had an experience recently that I thought I should share with you. It's kind of a trashy story, but there is  a point to it, so bear with me. 


It all began on a typical morning- one that was spent recovering from another round of my favorite game, "Drink the booze". I know, I know, it's not a  healthy game. But hey, do what you're  good at, right? Plus, it must have been fun. I know that must be true, mainly because I can't remember anything to prove otherwise. 



funny emails drinking
Yeah, so get of my case. Of beer
I guess I'll start with when I first came to. When I drifted back to reality, I found that I had passed out in a public garbage can the night before. God only knows why. 



(Continued)
Well, as I slowly came out of my stupor, something below began to poke me, in a very private area. After several failed attempts to reach it, I finally managed to bring the item in question into my line of sight. It was one of your gift card condoms. You know, that useless cardboard crap you wrap your gift cards in? I guess that you do that for a good reason. Or maybe it's just a precaution. Just in case you decide that using all that plastic didn't destroy the environment enough to satisfy you. 


I understand why you would spend the money to do it that way:  you have to be sure about a thing like that. On a side note, I would like to applaud the level of thoroughness and dedication you put into  destroying mother nature.  The way I see it, that bitch has had it coming for a long time now.  



funny emails shut up
Yes, a crappy version of this picture was in the original email, I digitally restored it for future generations


Well anyhoo, I finally managed to focus my vision, and even managed to make out some of the fine print on the piece of landfill bait. This is when I noticed something disturbing. In among all the legal mumbo jumbo, there was a troubling sentence that read "Call us to find out if geek squad agents are operating in your jurisdiction"..?!



NOT IN MY JURISDICTION AHOLES! I run a tight ship, and can't have geek squad riffraff running around  fixing things all willy-nilly. I am the RULER OF THIS JURISDICTION, and I am a pretty petty dictator. Nothing gets fixed without my say-so. Therefore, I would like to impolitely make a few demands. Loudly.




First off, if there is anything to be fixed in my jurisdiction, and it gets your attention, you will REFRAIN from fixing it. I will fix it, whenever the hell I feel like getting a fix. Or getting fixed. Wait, that came out wrong. NO TOUCHING MY BALLS. THE END? 



If you have any questions, ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL, do not hesitate to use your geek squad telepathic powers to contact me. But I would suggest that you not reply to this email, as this account is only for emails I get from domains that end in .org or .xxx. Thank you, and go to hell.


Up yours, 
Some random stranger

I can't figure out how that message went for years without them trying to call back. Maybe I should have used all caps...



Another crazy blog post


Comments
    RSS Feed
    Humor Links
    Humor Blogs
    submit a blog

    Active Search Results


    Written By:
    Randy Smith

    With all the crazy jokes here, it's obvious: I was hit in the head a few times when I was a child. With a hammer. I don't remember what I was trying to accomplish though...



    Online Marketing
    Add blog to our blog directory.

    Blog Promotion Top Blogs
    Promote Your Blog
    Free Blog Directory
    Blogs Tools Scented Candles


    Political Humor
    Deadpool!
    The Ranting Randomly Blog


    Other Posts:
    ​

    Top of Blog

    Fake news a political gold mine
    Funny one line jokes
    Political joke seeking job
    Coming Soon
    Random Thoughts
    Title Not Found
    Preventing The Blue Screen Of Death. With Fear
    My Zombie Weight Loss Plan
    Sprinting For Office
    Warning. Humor Not Guaranteed
    Open Letter to Ambulance Chasing Lawyers Everywhere
    How to annoy telemarketers
    What if the government shut down, and no one cared
    Politically incorrect, but probably true anyways
    Random Thoughts On Love
    It's the Annoying Things That Make it Worth Ranting
    Batman's New Villain, a Boycott
    In The News. Sadly
    Random Things that Annoy Me
    Antisocial Media
    Forum Administration Rant
    Funny quotes, points to ponder
    How Not To Promote Your Website
    Fun with Spam
    Making Invasions of Privacy More Fun
    SEO Will Make You Loco
    Ranting Randomly Blog - Ranting Randomly
    Comedy Blog Version 2.0
    Are They Serving Lead Paint In The Kid Meal Drink Now?
    Crazy Enough For Ya?
    Pictures are Worth A Thousand Rants
    Error: Rant Failed To Load
    The Sword Is Underrated
    No One Uses The I'm Feeling Lucky Button. Change It To I'm Feeling Stupid
    I Just Noticed
    A Todo List Is A Horrible Thing
    Telemarketing, And Other Random Observations
    Dennis Rodman's visit to North Korea
    Even More Random than Usual
    We Wash Our Lettuce Twice
    Disney Owns It All Now
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Ranting Randomly Blog
  • Politics
  • Comedy
  • Deadpool Memes
  • Adult Swim
  • Sitemap
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.