Funny yes, but even more random than usual...

Today, I'm not in a 'hilarious quotes' kind of mood

I'm  a “list some random thoughts I just came up with” kinda mood. Or, think of them as quotes by me, randomly strewn throughout the page, with no logic to it. And since I'm doing the writing, and I can't hear you complaining about it, enjoy...


I just love seeing the phrase “Please Use Responsibly”. Maybe that's because, I know that with the presence of that warning, there logically must be IRRESPONSIBLE way to use the item in question. Or else, why the warning? Or maybe it's the amusement caused by the knowledge that if I have to use something responsibly, I may as well throw it away, because it just ain't gonna happen


Has anyone tried to put subliminal messages in pop-up ads? If so, did anyone actually read the pop-ups and notice?


I've always wanted to write a tragic romantic comedy with a sci-fi/horror twist. And name it "Mr Smith Goes to Washington 2: Revenge of the Clones". Hey, it may not be a great idea, or even a good one, but I'm pretty sure it hasn't been done already. Well, not all that together at least.


This country seems to love playing the game “Kick the President”. Or at least half of the country does, at any given time, the other half seems to enjoy complaining about it. Which political party is doing the kicking and which party is doing the complaining changes from time to time, but it's always annoying as hell to listen to.

I really hate being witty when I'm all by myself. What a waste of an audience. I never even bother to clap. I should demand a refund.


Why do so many conspiracy theories seem to ignore the saying “Three people can keep a secret, but only if two of them are dead”? Yeah, a large group of people ambitious enough to run the planet are going to get along perfectly, with no infighting, back-stabbing, or plotting gone wrong to give the whole thing away. Hell, a lot of people out there can't get along well enough with their families to pull that off. 



Yet somehow, they think that the people in the world-domination crowd can. And they can do it with ambitious, self-serving strangers too. Let's face it, the world runs on money, but shit-talking has to be a close second. Personally, any conspiracy theory that doesn't explain how the people involved keep their mouths shut is pretty much a non-starter for me.


Sometimes, I  feel like I'm equally torn by my love of dubstep and my hatred of dubstep. So, if they ever mix rap and dubstep, would that be drubstep? Any way you pronounce it, it'll probably be unholy. And I will have it burned to a CD somewhere.

The next time someone tells you that “Technically, blah blah blah, (insert some detail you don't want to know here)”, just reply with “I'm not sure I'm interested in that level of technicality”. Try to do it at an audit, or to your boss during an employee review. Extra credit if you provoke them into asking “Excuse me?” in a pissed off tone, like people do. So you can respond with “There IS NO excuse for you”. It's a great way to make friends.