I want this list to go viral. By that I mean that you should read it, then sneeze all over everyone you can get close enough to. Added sexual contact is always helpful, but not required.
I wish that NASA would capture video of Curiosity being stolen by a Martian. Or as it's being 'Martian-jacked', if you will. Why? I would pay anything to see the look on Anderson Cooper's face when it happens.
Speaking of invading other planets, I saw an article about the Curiosity landing titled “7 Minutes of Terror”. Well, how do they think the Martians felt? I mean, after all we did to this planet, I don't think a ship from Earth would be a welcome sight anywhere.
Want a great way to say no when you are asked by your co-workers for help? Want to do it in an emotionally sensitive way? I got you covered. When anyone brings up the subject of doing 'work-like' activities, just respond to their ludicrous suggestion with the phrase “That sounds like a 'you' type of problem to me” Try it today!
The Irish choice to mix both drinking and line-dancing are brilliant ploys to market St. Patrick's day. It is a brilliant way to guarantee drunken entertainment in bars everywhere during the month of March for centuries to come.
Yesterday, I saw a CAPTCHA that involved solving a simple math problem. I want to whoever came up with such a giant stride forward in the 'annoy typical web users' arms race and shake their hand. Then I'd say to them “Great job genius, now all the bots are getting in, and all the stoners are locked out”.