If your wife tells you that you don't take her to expensive places any more, take her to the gas station.
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, but the third one was found while leading a Senate committee hearing about escaped monkeys. We left him there, they needed the help more than we needed a monkey.
Got one of those political emails today, this one came with the subject line "Help me send a message". I replied to that one, asking "Why? Your email seems to be working just fine."
Don't you just love it when you're trying to find a spot to park your car, and you whip right past an open space? After all, the lot was so full, you just told yourself, "Why waste time looking for an empty spot so close?" Of course, for me, this is always followed up by a glance in the rear-view mirror at the guy behind me, happily taking the spot I was moving too fast to stop for.
Checking my phone to see what time it is, and then checking again because the first time I wasn't paying attention.
Ben Affleck as Batman? Worst cast since... well, did he ever play Superman? Don't answer that. Please. There is the possibility of a 'yes, in a play.'. That would do it. I'd be drivin fully sane, and you would have nothing to read here.
Seriously. Just imagine him saying "I'm Batman", and then breaking out in giggles. He couldn't pull off Daredevil, how he's gonna do Batman?
Here are a few of the quality news stories I have seen while flipping through over the last few days. On a related note, I am boycotting the news for a week...
So I flip over to the other side of politics, and see a story where the President managed to do simple multiplication, and get an odd number. Probably to make some political point. Dumb, but in his defense, it DID air sometime after this story. If he saw it first like I did, I don't blame him for thinking it wouldn't be caught. Still dumb enough to be rant worthy though.
Take quick look at how people drive today. Make it fast though. You may be killed by someone who's busy texting "LOL". Because they're both driving, and stuck in conversation, with nothing else to say.
Obviously... wait, are you still alive? Good. As I was saying, there must be something else behind the decline in our collective ability to drive. Something beyond the obvious explanations like texting, drinking, fiddling with the radio, and joining the 55 mph club. There is too much bad driving out there to place all of the blame on those few things. There must be a hidden culprit out there.
Then it hit me, what about the road tests done by the DMV! You know, the one you have to pass, in order to get a license? Aha, I can blame the government! Think about it. We blindly trust the DMV to test people's ability to drive, when they have trouble simply managing the lines at their facilities. Then we wonder why so few drivers know what to do at a 4-way stop sign, when there is only one other car. Behind them.
There must be a way to make these tests more difficult. Obviously, it isn't hard enough now. Either it's gotten easier, I was a lot dumber when I was tested, or there's some way for idiots to pass without learning anything even remotely related to driving. For added proof, go for a drive on your favorite major highway, around 5 p.m.
Note: If you live in a state that has more silos than buildings with 3+ floors, this may involve traveling some distance.
Just Some Things That Annoy Me
(My list of possible 'last straws')
I hate it when...
I'm loading a webpage, and I see a link with EXACTLY what I need. Then, I proceed to click the useless link right above it, because of the page jumping down at the last second for some reason.
When people confuse my motives for staring. I was staring at you in SHOCK, not AWE. Hey, train wrecks may attract crowds, but not for the same reason that supermodels do...
Computers, smartphones, and technology have gotten so far out of hand, I could spend all day making fun of them. I know how to fix the problem... use the internet to complain about it!
Or instead, I'll just write a funny blog post, Tweeting random jokes with my smartphone all morning made me lazy...
It's amazing how irritating people can be in 140 characters or less.
I saw something annoying on the internet today. Which makes this pretty much like any other day that my computer is on, I suppose. But I digress.
What I saw was yet another forum with more Admin posts than user posts in the past week. I see this a lot for some reason. Google hates me, is my guess. Anyway, as usual, he was complaining ABOUT users using his crappy design wrong. Rant time...