I would like to share a few predictions that occurred to me today. I had this flash of insight while reading the news, and felt there was a strong possibility of it becoming true. Or that it might amuse people. Either of those results words for this blog, though. And if it does happen, I'll have proof that I called it. Here goes...
Anthony Weiner will soon change his name to Dick Burns, so that it represents him more accurately.
The new name will appeal to him largely because it also comes with a bonus: slightly less opportunity for sexual innuendo. His critics, a rather large group of people otherwise known as "The people who know who he is", will not be impressed.
After his upcoming yet inevitable election loss, I believe that he will next try to open a school. This fine institution of higher learning will be dedicated solely to educating our nation's youth on the finer points of twerking. The official school motto will be "Who better to teach young women how to dance like drunken, sex-crazed prostitutes at bar close?"
This will lead to the creation of a mob that runs him out of the country. Those seeking further justice will be denied, due to his untimely death, caused by the combination of every STD known to man.
The presence of said diseases, along with a few new ones, will require the incineration of his body, for the sake of both public health and national security.
The worst new STD found during his autopsy will be named Weinerburns syndrome. It will be more deadly than Ebola, and will go on to become the biggest single threat to humanity in the 22nd century.
In conclusion: ANTHONY WEINER MUST BE STOPPED!!!!! That is all.
Look what I found In my inbox