While watching the news today, I heard, again, how everything we do online is watched by the Government. So, that weird looking guy with the tin hat I sometimes see was right all along. I should send him a funny ecard and a congratulatory email. Then cc a copy to the NSA. He would love that.
Jokes aside, this got me thinking of ways I could make life easier for the people listening to us. Like, for the sake of convenience, I could just send a copy of every email in my outbox to the NSA. Attach a note that reads "Here you go, since you're going to read them anyway". Then they will know I'm a trustworthy guy.
Or, even better, I could start forwarding them my spam. Who knows? There could be useful Intel in there. Since I never read it, I couldn't tell you if there was. I will say this: I'm pretty sure that the spammer who sends all those promises to cure my male pattern baldness is up to something funny. Also, I know anyone working for the government would want to claim the prize from that winning Sudanese lottery ticket, what with all the recent cuts to the federal budget. Or maybe they could order a mail-order bride or two, to help beef up recruitment efforts for the CIA. Or get psychic readings in order to help crack those really tough cases.
They even could investigate deals on male enhancement or online dating sites. As an added plus, any information obtained would help create an incentive for agents to get out more, and spend less time in front of the computer. That would make privacy advocates happy. See? Win-win. There's an idea for the Supreme Court's emergency ruling on this case- ten years from now, or whenever they get around to it.
To help out offline, I could make a wiretap- friendly voice-mail greeting. Something like "Sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Please leave a message with your name, location, and a list of current illegal activities when you hear the suspicious sounding click. I'm sure that someone will get back to you"
Maybe I'd even get a medal for doing all this, or for spreading the word on how to help our friends at the NSA. HINT HINT
Here's a post with some reasons for us to make zombies...